The avoider mentality is a blanket term describing those with an avoidant attachment style, who:

- Simultaneously do desire intimacy (deep down), but have trouble admitting it, or enjoying intimate moments – they become VERY uncomfortable.
- Have a history of being let down when it comes to intimacy (absent parents, abuse, bullying, etc.) having trouble getting their needs met as children, so they learned to try and meet their needs only with themselves or by being alone.
- Have problems trusting others.
- Rationalize their way out of wanting intimacy and spending time with others, finding reasons like wanting to work long hours, not being able to find suitable partners, etc.
- Have great difficulty entering into deeper emotional conversations.
- Have great difficulty with conflict and handling conversations in relationships.
- Pull away when their partners or friends try to find out more about them.